Thursday, September 29, 2016

Where and how to get back on the wagon

I am fast approaching my one year anniversary of living in Oregon. I feel like I have only scratched the surface of all Southern Oregon has to offer.

The past 10 months have been filled with making the adjustment for the kids as seamless as possible. They have made some wonderful new friends and have adjusted to their new community beautifully. They are doing amazing on their new swim team and have participated in basketball, parkour and running events. This month they completed their first triathlon here in Oregon. It gives me great pleasure to watch them set goals and meet them.

Now that everyone feels mostly settled it's time to start focusing on my goals. It's been a rough 18 months for me trying to diagnose an injury. Selling a home, buying a home and moving is not recommended while you trying to figure out why you are dizzy and experience headaches every day. Eventually I discovered that I was suffering from compression issues. They had gotten so bad that it caused dizziness in my normal day activities, when it had started with just swimming. I've been in physical therapy for months now trying all sorts of different things to hopefully improve the issues. While I feel better in my day to day activities, I'm really not going to know the full extent of my progress until I return to swimming, biking and running.

I've had injuries before and getting back on the wagon is always a struggle. But I've never quite had this level of starting over. I'm essentially starting from scratch, the place I started from 10 years ago. I'm not going to lie, it's brutally hard. My physical therapist asked me if I was afraid to get back in the pool, because he is wondering why I haven't. Yes, I'm scared to get back in the pool, I'm also scared to ride my bike again and scared to run again. I'm afraid I'm going to suck! I think I've reached that point where knowing I suck is scarier than actually getting out there and sucking while at least trying. It's time to put myself first and stop worrying about everyone else.

So far, I've gone for one sucky run and one sucky bike ride. But I did it. Soon I will go for one sucky swim and get it over with. The goal is to keep moving my way through the suckiness until it no longer sucks. I know it won't suck forever.

Forward is a pace.

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